So Steve and I took the kids to the mall the other day to do some shopping. We walked all over the ginormous Columbia Center (sarcasm). After we had shopped all we possible could given our unfortunate circumstances...no babysitter, we decide we've had enough. We get all the kids strapped in the car and without skipping a beat trenton says; "I have to go potty." Typical.
We pull all the way out of the parking lot over to some bushes by a vacant lot under construction. Trenton hops out and now Easton has to go. Even more typical. So both boys are out sprinkling in the wind when over pulls mall security, gag .
Steve gets out and the guy says, "You know that's considered lewd behavior." Steve says, "Dude, he's three, what do you want me to do, let him pee his pants?" rent-a-cop says, "...and what about the other boy?" "he's seven! i'm not going to take them all the way back into the mall, why don't you go find someone who's actually doing something!" rentacop; "What?...WHAT?!!!" at this point I tell Steve to shut his mouth as the blowhole was taking down our plates. Can rental cops even do that? I'm so sure.
As we're driving away, Steve said he was having a hard time not getting distracted by the single tooth that was in this guys mouth. This is just another reason why you don't shop on sundays.
Disclaimer: I don't personally know any mall cops and feel no hatred towards any of them. I do not intend to belittle the importance of their jobs whatsoever.
We pull all the way out of the parking lot over to some bushes by a vacant lot under construction. Trenton hops out and now Easton has to go. Even more typical. So both boys are out sprinkling in the wind when over pulls mall security, gag .
Steve gets out and the guy says, "You know that's considered lewd behavior." Steve says, "Dude, he's three, what do you want me to do, let him pee his pants?" rent-a-cop says, "...and what about the other boy?" "he's seven! i'm not going to take them all the way back into the mall, why don't you go find someone who's actually doing something!" rentacop; "What?...WHAT?!!!" at this point I tell Steve to shut his mouth as the blowhole was taking down our plates. Can rental cops even do that? I'm so sure.
As we're driving away, Steve said he was having a hard time not getting distracted by the single tooth that was in this guys mouth. This is just another reason why you don't shop on sundays.
Disclaimer: I don't personally know any mall cops and feel no hatred towards any of them. I do not intend to belittle the importance of their jobs whatsoever.
9 comments:
ROFL Lisa, that is hilarious. I totally let my son do that. I am giggling.
Tell Steve to take a line from Adam Sandler on "Big Daddy": "Hiiiii, what's your name? He'll write it on the wall. Mind your BUSINESS!"
...or from same movie: "Are you my therapist? Take a WALK!"
First of all, I can totally hear Steve saying, "Dude" to the rent-a-cop. I don't know why, but that part is so funny to me.
Spencer's Grandpa (who was raised in VERY rural Idaho..a LONG time ago) refers to what your boys needed to do as "open the window and let it flicker". I think it's hilarious! I guess back on the farm, when they had to "go", they literally opened the tractor window and "let if flicker". The rent-a-cop should just be glad that Steve didn't make them pee out the window ;)
Hey, at least you went to the vacant lot. A lady next to me at the post office had her son pee right in the middle of the parking lot in front of the post office doors. When they gotta go, they gotta go!
I am at a loss for words! LOL. Did he actually call him "rentacop"??? The one tooth tops the cake of that story!
ok, I read it wrong. But it would have been cooler if he called him "rentacop".
What a great story. Seriously, I don't understand some people. They must not have kids. Try telling a three year old to hold it in while you find a bathroom. Then watch it dribble down his leg. Steve is so funny, I would have loved to see that.
It could be worse, Lisa. Whenever someone hassles you about your kids being in remote bushes, tell them "Oh yeah? My cousin works in an ER and once, a lady let her kid pee on the floor in their room."
True story. Bathroom was right across the hall, clearly labeled.
p.s. I'll take pictures of myself when I look more roundly-pregnant and less just-a-fat-chick.
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